Gratitude. And oh hey - I'm back.

I have tried probably 30 different times to resurrect this blog. To post something meaningful. To share where I’m at and to use this space as a place to process our life and all that goes on over here. But nothing has ever hit the page. Nothing.

Until now.

Nearly two and a half years of living here, and it’s time to get back on the horse, as they say. To bring you bits of life here. The good, the bad and the ugly. Because we all know it’s not all pretty. It’s not all as packaged or put together as we like it to be. It’s messy. And weird. And downright crazy sometimes. But this is our life and if you’ll allow me, I’d like to share it with you.

So, let’s start here. With gratitude.

We talk a lot about gratitude in November. And even in December. But it really seems like the rest of the year, we kind of let it go. We know we should be grateful for the things we have, and we mostly are, but we also complain a lot about the things we don’t have or the things that aren’t going right. I certainly fall into this trap more often than I’d like to admit over here in Nairobi. This city is maddening at times. I literally sat in traffic for 52 minutes to go one mile after picking Zuri up from a playdate at a friends house the other day. One mile! It should have taken ten minutes…

I hate that about Nairobi. And that sort of thing happens way too often. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you all the things like that that happen here. It’s ridiculous. It’s super frustrating. It brings out the worst in me. And I hate to admit that, but it’s true.

But I’m hoping to change that in 2020.

I saw a quote recently posted by a friend who lives in Uganda - “Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your joys.” - Rita Schiano

Ugh. That hit me like a ton of bricks. I am addicted to talking about my problems. When traffic makes me want to pull my hair out, I come home and complain about it to Jordan (or anyone who will listen) instead of talking about how much fun Zuri had at her playdate or how wonderful it is that she has friends from school who invite her over to play. It’s sad, really. Why do I choose to focus on the bad instead of the good?

Nairobi is the hardest/dirtiest/busiest place I’ve ever lived. It’s inefficient and poorly planned out. Getting from one side of town to the other is practically impossible on a weekday afternoon. But I get to choose to focus on that, or to focus on the fact that it’s been raining continuously here (and now is supposed to be the dry season) which means we have flowers and green grass, not to mention an abundance of fruits and veggies - did I mention that mango season has arrived? - and way, WAY fewer mosquitos than are normal for this time of year! It’s amazing!

And my kids have friends, and they get to play outside pretty much every day of the year, and we just started a small group with some people from our church, and we are all healthy. And I don’t want to take any of those things for granted.

We are here, doing what we can to lead a team and tell the stories of God at work all over this continent and beyond it among Unreached People Groups and that’s not always easy. It’s not easy living on support from other believers who have to CHOOSE to give so we can do this work. It’s not easy living as a one on the enneagram (ahem, I like things to be ordered and efficient please and thank you) in a city that is so inefficient and poorly planned. It’s not easy living outside of my home culture and always second-guessing everything I say or do among the Kenyans I’m trying to befriend.

But I get to choose where my focus is. I can choose joy, instead of complaining. I can choose gratitude for all that is going well, instead of bitterness for the things that aren’t going well. I can choose to talk about the good instead of talking about the bad.

God really is so good. And his mercies are new each morning. I will cling to that when I look at January so far and I realize I haven’t been grateful very much, but instead I’ve been complaining a lot. But I can change. And I can talk about my joys more than my problems.

So I will. Will you join me?